My Exterminator

My exterminator's the happiest guy I know. Quick with an unforced smile and a cheerful Hi how ya doin'. When he comes by it's like everything is always looking up. And it is. He comes, he sprays, he conquers. Once there were roaches and then there were none. Who doesn't yearn for such clarity? To know what your work is, that's huge. That and why it is needed. Blessed is the man who knows why he is here. Leonard Cohen was big on referring to his literary calling as work. He took it seriously and it wasn't like falling off a log for him, so that makes sense. But what is the difference he made? It's something that I wonder about with my own ventures writing and education. I hope to make a difference that is salutary. But I proceed on faith. And the twin of faith is doubt. The pleasure one derives from one's efforts has a hollow spot hiding in there somewhere. Not so the exterminator. Perhaps he's happy because everyone is happy to see him and, as I said, he knows he's needed. Could that be what I've been after all these years? I would say that I need Leonard Cohen. Sure. Yes. No question. My soul and brain have been expanded immeasurably by his art. But . . . but if it was a choice where you can have Leonard Cohen but you will also live with roaches or you can have no roaches at the price of no Cohen? Come on! No contest. If I were to never see one of those disgusting, aggressive pests again, I would indeed declare Hallelujah. I guess that's what clergy, all those pastors and priests, think. They think they are in the same league as the exterminator. Slaying Satan, or at least keeping the Devil safely off the premises. I envy them their certainty. But I bet they doubt too. Just like every soldier and do-gooder doubts. Politicians don't doubt because they are under no delusion to begin with. One question: I wonder if my exterminator wishes he had done more with his life? Probably not. His service to the world is concrete and it has nice boundaries around it. Saving the world from 9 to 5. And when he bounces his grandchild on his knee on Saturdays, his heart must be at peace. I can see him now. His van and his equipment are over there in the garage. The little child doesn't even have to know about that yet, how the world has roaches in it and someone must step up and take it upon themselves to kill them.