Poem: Losing Andy - Thirteen Fragments
What things really cost
*
We weren’t dependent on you
For happiness
Yet you were interwoven
Into every
Happiness we knew
*
I remember
When it was new
I wish it was new again
*
I saw it all coming except
The silence and darkness of
The empty kitchen before dawn
*
Looking in your eyes I saw
You were complete in yourself
This I cannot say of myself
These desolate days
*
Time was something to fill
Now it’s something to kill
*
The world took on a different aspect
Sharper, clearer,
Lonelier
*
Something is lost and
Something is gained
Which sounds better
Than it actually is
*
No emojis for this
*
You were the substance
Filling in all the cracks and lacunae
Making secure the foundation
Of our home
*
I’m living in a stranger’s house
*
That’s how it went down
And that’s how it’s going to be
Nobody
I mean nobody ever
Thinks they got it right
*
I want to believe the doctor
Who said we did everything we
Could for you
I want to believe
I really do
M. Bogen
October 2024
Mitch, this is a stellar work and no less than he deserved. You nailed it, and Pete agrees wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteDeborah xo
Thanks, Deborah! Initially, I thought I would use this as the raw material for a more condensed and coherent poem, but then decided that the fragments were truer to the experience of grief.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely agree. Grief comes in fragments, ragged fragments, in my experience.
ReplyDelete