Trepp & Reciprocity

In every intimate or romantic relationship there is a power imbalance. One person invests more meaning in it and fears the ending of it more than the other. At the extreme end is that thing that happens when people are young and they fall in love with a person who barely knows they exist. Edging in a bit from that extreme is that phenomenon where one person is head over heels and the other person wants to be just friends. This particular lack of reciprocity is perhaps the worst because an actual relationship exists but it's never going to change, despite the powerless one wishing that somehow it will. In the best relationship there is a high level of reciprocity and mutuality.* But could it ever be perfectly equal? I doubt it. Let's say those excellent relationships come in at 51-49. In Judith's painting shown here the relationship sits at about 60-40, and since it's not a video, it's never going to change.

*There's also negative reciprocity where both parties come to feel equally uninvested and mutually agree to end it. I guess this kind of reciprocity results in a good divorce, or as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin put it, a "conscious uncoupling."